A Blind Eye

Some days, I wonder why I ended up in South Dakota. I know its because of Joe but I wonder if there is a greater purpose for being here. I am having a hard time understanding this place and the mentality of the people who live here.

A few weeks ago, we ran into Joe's cousin who told us he found a den of baby coyotes on his property. He then told us how he killed each of them and even had a chuckle about it. Just the thought turned my stomach. Residents here are raised to kill vermin like coyote, raccoon, skunk, deer, rabbit, etc. If it disrupts the business then it gets shot. If it eats property, it gets shot. If it crosses the street, it gets shot. I don't understand it.

Tonight, we were at a bar in Cavour. A kid named Justin walked in with a man. It was obvious both had been drinking by the way they staggered in and began to talk to the patrons. Justin tried talking to the man next to me then we struck up a conversation. He couldn't have been 21 yet he was drunk and there to do more drinking while on his way to Huron. Sadly, he was the more sober of the two so he would be driving.

As Joe and I left, I asked if we should let the local sheriff know Justin would be heading to Huron. I was told that it was best to not get involved. The sheriff wasn't called and Justin and friend may or may not make it home tonight.

There is a cultural aspect about this place that I just don't understand. How is it possible that a group of adults can sit around and talk about the latest gossip yet refuse to get involved in an incident regarding the fodder of that gossip? Case in point: during the last snow, a woman put her car into a ditch... several different times. Few stopped to help the woman and get her back on the road yet several talked about it later that morning, about how they saw her or helped get her back on the road. When she crashed her car into someone's gate, the sheriff was finally called out. Why not sooner? Because no one wanted to get involved.

Basically, a kid will get into his truck and drive away drunk and that's his business. And if he gets into an accident? Hurts himself? Kills someone? That will be the topic of discussion at coffee. Period.

I don't understand.

Can't Go Home Again?

Recently, I returned to Bellingham for a friend's surprise birthday party. Unfortunately, Joe wasn't able to come with me so this was my first time off the farm and without the farmer in four months. Even though I had lived my whole life without him, it felt weird. More than that, I was pretty nervous about going back.

Being there touched a raw nerve as I realized just how much I miss Bellingham. I miss my friends, family, home, gym and work. I miss the trees, the proximity of stores & coffee shops and the ease of seeing anyone I wanted, any time. I even miss the weather. I had taken all of these for granted while I lived there and that reality hit me hard.

At first, I didn't want to go back to BPD because I was afraid I would want my job back. I also didn't want to meet the woman who was hired to replace me and, truth be told, I was determined to not like her, if I had. (I know, I know.) Thankfully, Christine Paulson forced my hand so I went. Going back was easier than I thought. In some ways, it felt like I had never left. It was great to see everyone again and I walked away from there knowing the new girl will take care of my PD family.

I was really nervous about returning to my gym, JD Elite Fitness. I even had knots in my stomach the night before. But going back couldn't have gone any more smooth. I was able to get in three killer work outs and left feeling good but sore for having gone. In fact, it was gym boss and friend, Danielle Stevenson who made going back so painless. And at the end of my third work out, she reminded me that JD will always be my safe place, my sanctuary. I like that.

I am grateful for time I was able to spend with friends. Whether it was hanging with the Boldens, playing with the Miller kids or lunch, coffee or a movie, that time filled me in a very unexpected way. Between the wedding prep and moving plans, I think I forgot to savor the moments like these. Four months ago, I didn't realize I wouldn't be right down the street from everything I knew. I assumed I could have it all and Joe. I didn't think anything would change, despite the big changes that were occurring. Hello, reality!

This new life really is a brand new chapter for me. That doesn't mean I have to close out the last chapters in order to be here. Instead, it means that when I have the opportunity to go back to WA, CA or wherever people I love are, I have to savor every moment, every visit, every hug.