I think the person who said, “Marriage is easy” has never worked on a project with their spouse. The past few months have been about house projects which are really tests in patience and selflessness.
Since I moved here, the basement has been a catch all for everything from furniture to tools to farm parts. It will be a living space one day but much needs to be done before then. The house was built three years ago and Joe has managed to finish the main floor. He works on the basement in his spare time. Then, I come along and begin to crack the whip on finishing it. Poor guy!
Our most recent task was painting the basement and putting up the ceiling. I couldn’t help with the ceiling but I was very ready to paint. Maybe I’m weird but I like painting. I like the look of freshly painted walls and the feeling of accomplishment once you’re done. Since I had repainted the inside of my Bellingham home, I like to think that I know what I’m doing.
Enter my other half, who also has painting experience doesn't really like to do it. He has his way of painting and I have mine. And the two are very different. Choosing a color wasn’t bad, once we agreed white and dark colors weren’t options. I picked out several color chips that I liked and he chose one. As for the painting, we both tried to be trimmers and rollers, working in our own areas of the basement but found it was less frustrating if he trimmed while I rolled.
The recurring thought I had throughout this experience is based on a comment from my friend, Margot Hird. Marriage is about giving up - my ways of doing things, my selfishness, my ideas of what I want. Its about finding what works for us both and remembering that my life is no longer about me. Having lived on my own for so long, this has been and will likely continue to be a huge struggle. But, in the midst of our head butting, I need to remember that God brought me a man who loves me and I am called to do the same, no matter what.
The good thing about that is there is no rush to figure us out. We’ve got at least 40+ years, God willing.
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