Thursday, September 29, 2016

Our First Year

We hit the first milestone of our married life together - we made it through the first year.  I wish I could say it was easy but there were a lot of growing pains that we suffered through.  During this time, I learned a lot about farming, being a wife and being unemployed.  Each has their pluses and minuses. I think the greatest lessons learned were about being Joe's wife.

I've heard many people say never go to bed angry with your spouse. I can't say I abided by that, especially early on.  There were times when I didn't want to argue about an issue anymore and just tried to sleep it off. Then, one night, we had a heartfelt discussion on this topic and I learned how leaving an issue unresolved truly affected Joe. He lost a lot of sleep worrying about my frame of mind and whether or not I would return to WA.  At that moment, I knew I needed to change that behavior and keep communication going until an issue was resolved. Nothing was worth losing sleep over.

A few months ago, we had an incident involving a gun and our wedding portrait.  Needless to say, our picture survived but has a big scar.  I remember taking several deep breaths before I spoke to him as I didn't want to say anything I would later regret. After all, no one was hurt and its only a picture. But, I said my peace, calmly and the subject was dropped. In the meantime, I had left banana bread in the oven a bit longer than was needed and it came out of the oven looking very dark brown. Not my finest bread by any means. Rather than commenting on it, Joe kissed me on the forehead and cut himself a slice. That day, we both learned about the value of grace.

We spent a few days in Deadwood in June. Joe was relaxed and around family.  Even though our time there was short, I was reminded how much I enjoy being around him.  He is fun, funny, lively. He is the kind of person that people like to have around. When he is harvesting, I don't get to see much of him so this was a much needed reminder of one of the reasons I married him.

When there were issues with mom and her living arrangements, he was supportive and encouraging about having her live with us. I'm not sure how many men would want their MILs living with them but he did. And when his mom is in need of help with something, he doesn't hesitate to assist. When I am sick and unable to get out of bed, he takes care of me while worrying about me. Yep, he is that kind of man.

Joe is no saint. He has his moods, especially when something goes wrong out in the field. Most times I don't get his sense of humor and his sarcasm usually annoys me but, he has a good heart and is very well intentioned. He would move heaven and earth for me if I asked. While I am not sure what our life will look like at the 5 or 10 year mark, I know without a doubt, we will reach those together.  He is my person.


Saturday, September 3, 2016

What If

The South Dakota State Fair is going on right now.  It's only right that we should go on this day - our 11 month anniversary.  After all, it is the reason that I came to SD two years ago, thanks to an invitation by a farmer who lived in the middle of nowhere.

Wow, two years.  It hardly seems possible that my life could have changed so much in that short amount of time.  But, change it did! Sometimes I wonder what my life would look like if I hadn't decided to tour the midwest in 2014.  What if I went to MN but stayed there with Margo instead of hitting the road? Or what if I would have turned down Joe's offer to meet and go to the fair with him?  Or what if I had never gone to Ireland? And what if Maureen was still alive?

I don't like to spend too much time dwelling on What If.  I'd rather believe that this is where I am meant to be and everything happens for a reason. Because the truth is that I will never know what would have happened and, in the end, it doesn't really matter anyway.