Six months with Mom

Written April 10, 2017
The decision to have mom live with us was 18 months in the making. I had thought she would come out much sooner than she had but it would be almost a year from the time we were married to when she decided to come to SD.  Circumstances being what they were at Mary Ann's house were what pushed mom to decide she was ready to give it a try.
As with any new relationship, this one had its challenges.  Mom's shyness kept her from getting to know Joe. Her hurts prevented her from relaxing and enjoying the SD experience. She fussed about too many things and picked apart all that she could, especially Joe's words. It was frustrating to hear her complaints about him.  She even commented (several times) that if I wanted to divorce him it would be ok. What??? I thank God that I had gone through counseling and reached a place where I understood her fears and could reason with her. Otherwise, I might have left him to appease her. All of her comments came from her deep seated fear. Much like the child in me that needed to be talked with, I had to see and talk with her in the same manner. Rationale must be thrown out the window at times like those.  No longer are we having a conversation between two grown ups. I became a mother soothing her child.
I am thankful that reason prevailed so that at the end of her time here, she had let her guard down and was able to embrace Joe for the character that he is.  She learned to love and appreciate who he is - a sarcastic farmer with a heart of gold. My hope is that when she looks back on her time here, she will realize that she was safe and that she will carry that knowledge with her wherever she goes.