Pretty Good So Far

As of today, we're at the tail end of November.  Who knew this year would be as insane as it was. 

To recap:

Coronavirus hit in January.  It "started" in Wuhan, China though there is some discussion about the true origin and date. 

By March, states began to shut down schools and businesses to keep the virus at bay.  In some states, schools never opened again until the new school year. Many businesses never re-opened.  SD  closed for two months.  I stayed home in March then worked from home in April and May.  By June, the state and my job opened back up. 

In July, we went to Montana. Shay graduated from high school and would leave for college in Arizona in August. We were invited to her graduation party in WA but decided to spend time with them in MT instead.  It was wonderful.  We surprised the boys first at Wayne and Rhudi's house. I'll never forget the hug Trace gave me and the look on his face when he realized we were there. Blakely has grown so much. She is very sassy and gorgeous. Davis is tall and has his grown up voice.  Shay is beautiful. It filled my heart to have time with the Millers.

At the end of July, we moved mom in with us. She called in early June to say "they're kicking me out".  Translated - she had gotten on their last nerve and they couldn't take it anymore. Mom and Kelly had gotten into an argument over Kelly's boyfriend about a year prior. That led to them not talking to each other.  At all. Tony took sides.  That led to Mary Ann being in the middle of it all. She reached her boiling point on that fateful June day and said, "Thats it!"  She got Tony to throw out mom's bedding onto the lawn.  I think it started as a scare tactic as he told her he was putting her into a hotel and had called a moving truck to pick up her things.  Defiant, mom called me then went to the neighbor's house where the police were called. When the officers showed up and figured out what had happened, they sided with mom and Tony was made to return her things to her room.  Of course, I was left to make all of the arrangements which I did. 7 weeks later, mom was in SD along with all of her things.  In between then, however, crazy things were happening that mom kept me informed of.  One example - Mary Ann took mom to the bank to get her jewelry but talked her out of transferring her money from B of A to our local bank. She tried to reason with mom that she didn't need to move her money to SD. Um... ok.  I thank God for Laurie who was able to be with mom and help her through this time. She was so good to mom and spent time with her. She is truly my sister. 

Uncle Herman passed away this year. He'd had dementia but Covid restrictions made matters worse for him as he was confined to a home. Poor man. He'd lived a good, long life but still. In the end, he was alone when he passed.  His kids decided to send his ashes down the Rio Grande in Texas. An invite was sent and in September, several first cousins got together to pay respects to this man and the Ortiz family in general. We were able to go to Gonzales, TX for this occasion. I was looking forward mostly to spending time with Nicky, Ricky, Herman, Yoli, Lupe and Anita.  Minus Yoli who is very sick, they were all there.  It felt like time had stood still and I had seen them only yesterday. Being with them reminded me of what true family feels like. The love they have and give is so precious. And Joe fit right in with them. It was a wonderful time. 

November was also presidential election time. What a mess it is! "IS" because its being contested.  Biden won 'though I'm not sure how.  The man has health issues that are visible. There are allegations of corruption and voter fraud being investigated. Only time will tell what will happen in the end and who our president will be. God help us!

The holidays are going to be different.  We just had Thanksgiving, hosting Tom and Mary Jensen, Bruce and Chris, Amy and Greg.  Because of Covid, the high school lunch was canceled. Joe cooked the turkey that was provided by the Jensens.  Pat Taylor stayed home. Season opener was the same.  Fewer hunters. Still, it was good to see the guys who came, even if I don't remember their names. 

The yard has been winterized. We're having unseasonably warm weather which I'll gladly take. But on the verge of December, I think I'm ready for cooler temps and the look of winter. Maybe going dormant will help the virus to go away.

We've managed to stay healthy and alive. God willing, I'll post an update a year from now. 

 

New Year, New Hope

2020 has finally arrived!  Along with it comes significant changes. I sure hope I'm ready for this.

My trip to Mayo resulted in ZERO information. Yes, they couldn't find out what was wrong with me. I continue to have chest and throat tightness, nausea and heart issues yet after numerous tests and doctors, they had no answers for me.  So frustrating! 

I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason.  There is a reason Joe came along when he did and I moved to SoDak. If I hadn't come here, I wouldn't have met Julie who referred me to Ron Passmore, a naturopath. On 1/2, I met with him at his Huron office. After explaining the past year, he asked questions and ran tests. It took him 2.5 hours to determine that I have a severe wheat allergy.
The issues I've had turned out to be anaphylaxis - my body's allergic reaction to what it considers toxins which are the proteins found in wheat.

According to Mayo's info on wheat allergies, I've experienced most of what was listed. That floored me! No one else figured that out so for a year, I have had allergic reactions to wheat and never knew it. When I think about how my body has suffered, I cry. My heart has worked very hard to keep the rest of me going. My liver fought to clean out the toxic wheat but got close to quitting.  My stomach leaked the proteins because it couldn't handle it anymore. No wonder I had a heart attack! 

I will have to re-do the way I eat and avoid wheat, oats, rye, barley, quinoa, chia seeds, any product that has wheat protein or derivative.  I feel overwhelmed at the moment but I am determined to give this a try.  I have to get better. I have to heal my body.  I have to get rid of the old way and adapt to a new way of living. Easier said than done but it is possible.  If this is the answer I have searched for, then I must do all I can to change. My life depends on it.

2nd Opinions and Answers

This month makes my 1 year anniversary since I had my heart attack.  Hard to believe that all happened a year ago. And although I think I should be celebrating this milestone, Joe and I are currently in Minnesota, waiting for my MAYO appointment.  I got tired of my symptoms showing up whenever they felt like it. Also, there's a nodule on my thyroid that may need to be taken care of so I'm done messing around. I hope and pray that, by the time we head back home, I will know exactly what's wrong and how it will be made better.

I dread thinking about any tests that need to be run or blood drawn or even the possible biopsy that I may need. But, I am calm about this visit. I have a peace about it that can only come from God. I'm not afraid of what may be and I'm ready for the healing that will come at the end of this trip.

Fingers crossed.

The Failed Op

Welp, I went in for my GI procedures yesterday. We left home at 8 and hit snow in Dell Rapids. It was light, thank goodness.

The first test, a form of medieval torture, involved pushing a 50cm probe (read: long ass mo-fo) through my nose and down my throat into my stomach. I'm not ashamed to say I gagged and cried. Once it was in, I had to lie down and receive 10 squirts of saline that would monitor my swallowing. Ever try to not swallow when you're told to? Its not easy. Once I swallowed the saline, I had to withhold swallowing for 30 seconds so the computer could capture the saline traveling down. A lifetime later, I got to expel that horrible thing. I never want to do that again.

We waited for an hour before the next test which I skipped to happily. It involved sedation! The nurses took Joe and I to a room where I got the good "Vs"- an IV and a TV. The nurses who prepped me were great. I would have gladly gotten 10 IVs put in my arm over that crappy probe. They came for me at 12:45. I was wheeled into an op room that looked like an office. There must have been 8 ladies waiting for me - nurses, techs, anesthestiologists and the Dr who stood about 4'10, 90 lbs. She was very nice and explained that she would attach a capsule to my esophagus that would monitor any acid reflux for 3 days. Cool, right? I tried to chat with them but the sedation kicked in quick. I said,' Here comes the juice!" LOL! That's all I remember.

A "short time" later, I woke up in recovery. There was a man in a bed next to me who kept asking for more drugs. A male nurse tried offering me ice chips but I was out of it. Oh, he also said, "Its 5:30." The procedure should've taken 30min max. When I started to come to, the DR came over and tried to tell me something. "Capsule...trachea...lungs...". I asked for Joe and she said she would talk to him next.

An hour later, I was taken to a recovery room where I finally got to see Joe. He explained that the capsule was put in but came loose and traveled down my trachea and into a lung. DR tried to get it out but couldn't so she called a lung specialist who tried to get it out but couldn't. They had to take me to the E/R, two buildings away. Thankfully they're all connected so I didn't get snowed on.

Once I was ok to be released, I asked for food and got to eat ice cream. My throat is really rough so it was especially good. We were on the road by 7:30. Joe made a quick stop at McDonalds because he hadn't eaten and I had a shamrock shake. We were home by 10.

Needless to say, it was a long day. I can't believe my luck! I have no idea what we'll do next but I'm hoping the first test will give some answers. The tech pointed out a problem in the images she took but left the interpretation to the DR. Joe said DR told him they do a 24 hour test involving that esophagus probe but he told her he was pretty sure that wasn't an option. No way, no how! So, I wait to hear what's next. I was hoping to have a plan by now but I'm not in control and it is what it is. With all of the anesthesia I received, I have to be watched for 16 hours, can't drive, no alcohol. I'll be home today, catching up on sleep which is hard to do right now. My lungs are full of phlegm, my throat is sore and its hard to breathe. All in all, it could be worse.

3 am and answered prayers

It has been far too long since I last wrote here.  While life is the same, some things have changed.

A few weeks ago, I went to CA to get mom.  She is staying with us for 6 months, if not longer.  I have to find a way to convince her to stay.  Living with Mary Ann is to toxic. Mom has less migraines here and seems happier but I know she misses my sister. Those two have a strange bond, one that I will never understand.  I guess its more like Satan has a grasp on mom and won't let go without a fight.  That grasp keeps her in the dark and living in fear.  I am afraid of the damage that it does to her.

While I was in CA, I met Tony, Monica, Estrelita, Renato and Laurie for dinner at Cheesecake Factory.  Oh my gosh! It was the best time. Eating and laughing and talking with friends whom I consider family was so wonderful, especially since I haven't made solid friends in SD yet.  I know that will take time.  But these people of mine are my tether, my siblings. While Maureen was still alive, I clung to that friendship and neglected these. I see now how significant they are to me and how blessed I am to have their voices of reason and their strength behind me.

I have been with GFP for 10 months now and I am so happy there.  I am blessed to have been given the chance to work there. I am learning a lot and I work with really good guys. It is the kind of job i had hoped to find out here.  Another answered prayer.

Joe and I celebrated our third year of marriage very quietly.  He sent me beautiful roses.  I flew out the next day to get mom. While learning to live with each other has been difficult, I know Joe loves me and that he is the best man I could ever hope for. He is God's answer to my years of prayer.

I had hoped that we could have a baby together but it doesn't seem to be a part of God's plan, sadly. I even went to a fertility specialist who couldn't promise me anything but gave me hope. I prayed about it A LOT but got no answer. Well, at least not the answer that i wanted.  It is now something I am trying to make peace with as I submit to God's will. 

I have always been a believer in fate and that all things happen for a reason.  I'm writing this tonight just a few hours before I leave for Avera heart hospital.  It seems my heart is sick so I am going there to help it get better.  I had no idea that I had any health issues until recently when I began to feel pressure on my neck and sternum.  What started out as a quick doctor appointment led to a trip to the ER and and EKG that showed troponin was leaking into my blood.  This is an indication of a heart attack and heart damage.  I still can't wrap my head around that. I feel fine but I know, intuitively that something is wrong.  I guess I have known all along for at least a week but I tried to power through it.  The cardiologist, Kevin Vaska has assured me that I will be fine once he determines what's going on. All I can do is hope and pray that it will be.

Until next time, when I hope to return with a happier heart...

The Big 5-0

Yep, I said it!  I am 50!  Gads, I never thought this day would come but come, it did.

I have to admit that it has been good so far.  I took the day off from work and spent half the day in pajamas. I did NOTHING!  I'm ok with that.

MY farmer, my love, took me to the Redline for dinner and drinks with friends.  I was surprised! I ate too much and drank too much but, what the heck, this day will only come once in my lifetime.

I'm thankful for a husband who loves me. I'm thankful for a community who came out in the cold winter night to celebrate me. I'm thankful that, at 50 years, I am healthy and happy and still don't have to color over my gray hair. I'm thankful for friends near and far who wish me well.

Thank you, God, for giving me this good life.

Six months with Mom

Written April 10, 2017
The decision to have mom live with us was 18 months in the making. I had thought she would come out much sooner than she had but it would be almost a year from the time we were married to when she decided to come to SD.  Circumstances being what they were at Mary Ann's house were what pushed mom to decide she was ready to give it a try.
As with any new relationship, this one had its challenges.  Mom's shyness kept her from getting to know Joe. Her hurts prevented her from relaxing and enjoying the SD experience. She fussed about too many things and picked apart all that she could, especially Joe's words. It was frustrating to hear her complaints about him.  She even commented (several times) that if I wanted to divorce him it would be ok. What??? I thank God that I had gone through counseling and reached a place where I understood her fears and could reason with her. Otherwise, I might have left him to appease her. All of her comments came from her deep seated fear. Much like the child in me that needed to be talked with, I had to see and talk with her in the same manner. Rationale must be thrown out the window at times like those.  No longer are we having a conversation between two grown ups. I became a mother soothing her child.
I am thankful that reason prevailed so that at the end of her time here, she had let her guard down and was able to embrace Joe for the character that he is.  She learned to love and appreciate who he is - a sarcastic farmer with a heart of gold. My hope is that when she looks back on her time here, she will realize that she was safe and that she will carry that knowledge with her wherever she goes.